
Dyker Heights residents receives kidney transplant thanks to Maryland donor

Approximately six years after being diagnosed with kidney disease, a beloved Dyker Heights native received the gift of life from a complete stranger from Maryland.
Seventy-year-oldĀ Fred Howe, who was diagnosed with Focal Segmental Glomerulosclerosis (FSGS), in 2012, had been searching for a kidney donor — including through this newspaper, which publicized his plight — since going on dialysis, about three and a half years ago.
āDialysis is not one of the best feelings,ā he said. āIt keeps you alive, but it doesnāt make you better.ā
For that, Howe needed a kidney. Initially, he was on a three-year-long organ donor waiting list. While that might have been discouraging, he and his family swung into action. āThere was one man that said to me, if youāre looking for a donor for a kidney, you have to put the effort in like you were looking for a job that youāve always wanted your whole life,ā Howe recalled.
One ray of light was how many people reached out to help.
āWhen youāre in need of a kidney or on dialysis, people are so concerned about you,ā the emotional Howe explained. āOne guy who leads a prayer group in his church said he was going to pray for me every Friday. I was absolutely blown away. The thing is people really do care but donāt know what to do, I think because thereās a real lack of awareness sometimes or a fear of not knowing what you can do to help. Sometimes itās just a matter of getting the word out.ā
Thanks to organizations like non-profit Renewal, the help of his wife Barbara and a friend he met online, Howeās family found a way to get the word out to help find a donor. His need was publicized online, and locally, as he and his wife made signs and flyers to distribute around the borough.
āI even went to my grandkidsā grammar school, St. Bernadette,ā Howe explained. āThe principal was very nice. She let the kids go around to all of the classrooms and hand out the flyers and asked the kids to bring them home to their parents. The principal also put it in an email to parents. P.S. 127 did it too. Then you have to sit back and make the plan.ā
Barbara had joined a local Facebook prayer group, which turned out to be a major turning point in Howeās recovery.
His eventual donor, Joe Gilvary, was also in the group and saw that the Brooklyn man was in need of a kidney.
āWhen I was a kid I had a kidney infection. I spent time in hospital and years taking penicillin,ā he explained. āI figured I wouldnāt ever be able to donate a kidney.ā
However, his kidney healed over time and when he saw the post, he knew he wanted to take action and help out a complete stranger.
āHow could I say no?ā Gilvary asked. āItās like having a superpower and saying, āMaybe I wonāt save that personās life.ā I had the opportunity to save a life. And I had that opportunity based on something that I never earned in any meaningful way that was given to me. I didnāt do anything to deserve that kind of health and Iām still very healthy. When I saw Barbaraās first announcement in the group, it was God nudging me to think about doing this; when I did it, it fell into place.ā
After overcoming various obstacles and making visits to various hospitals all over the country, in June of last year, Howe was ready to receive the kidney transplant. Ā However, he and Gilvary didnāt meet until the day of the surgery.
āHe came in and we gave each other a hug,ā Howe said. āI asked, āWhat made you do this? You donāt know me.ā He said, āWe donāt know each other but I saw a picture of you with your grandkids and I didnāt want them to grow up without a grandfather.āā
The surgery then took place and was successful.
āI feel great,ā Howe said. āGod blessed me for a reason because these things donāt happen by accident. I didnāt get sick by accident. I used to go to the hospital three times a week to get checked. I go once a month now.ā
Following the surgery, Howe and Gilvary got to know each other better. Back in December, Gilvary came to New York with his daughter, and Howe and his family invited him for dinner at Ginoās Restaurant in Bay Ridge. They also paid for Gilvaryās hotel stay, calling the place where he was staying and asking the clerk to charge the bill to them.
āAs far as I was concerned, on June 19, the surgery was done and we were even,ā Gilvary said. āThey are just so crazy generous. I understand this is a big thing, but still to me it doesnāt seem they owe me anything for it.ā
The dinner turned out to be a celebration of friendship and life.
āI told his daughter, youāre going to get a real understanding of what people think of your dad tonight,ā Howe said. āShe had no idea what was going to happen. Everyone in the restaurant was hugging him, shaking his hand, and he was totally overwhelmed.ā
Then, the Howes posted a photo of the encounter on Facebook, and got a tremendous response. Recounted Howe, āOne said, āYouāre an angel. God sent you.āā
The two men, both New York Mets fans, plan to see each other again this summer at Citi Field to take in a game.
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