Oh Orly: Week of January 30

January 30, 2014 Orly Amor
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Oh Orly!

My husband sends me flowers every single month since we have been together. I think instead of doing that, he could save the money so that we could go on vacation.

How can I get him to see that I would rather go on vacation then have flowers every month?

Darlene H.

Carroll Gardens

Dear Darlene,

Your husband finds a way every month to give you flowers. That is awesome. I would not change that for the world.

When men are doing something good in our relationships, they feel they are contributing to the relationship by doing a good deed. If you tell him that you prefer him saving the money for vacation, not only will you not get flowers, you will not get a vacation either.

What you are saying is that you don’t appreciate the flowers so why would he give you a vacation? You might not appreciate that either. There’s a great book entitled, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I urge you to read that book.

Women have the tendency to speak one language and men have the tendency to hear something else. If we as women don’t break that language barrier, then we are going to lose the battle in the relationship.

You see, most women when they get flowers from their husbands actually think that he did something wrong. This has to stop. Unless you have proof, take your husband’s good deeds as just that a good deed.

Don’t stop him from sending you flowers and find another way to save for a vacation. Like that you will have the best of both worlds.

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