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OH ORLY: Week of December 29

December 29, 2011 Orly Amor

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Oh Orly,

I have a friend who is very negative. After spending time withhim, I find myself being very angry and not myself. He is a goodguy and would give you the shirt off his back. How can I help himbe more positive?

Sara R.

Brighton Beach, Brooklyn

Hi Sara,

I am glad you are such a good friend by wanting to help. Whenyou speak to your friend and he starts talking negatively, do thefollowing: Help him focus the conversation to a more positive oneby pointing out the positive.

Also, you can change the conversation and gear it towards you orsome other positive situation and do it constantly. At one point oranother when he speaks negatively and you deter the conversation,he will notice and will be upset with you for not being interestedin what he has to say.

That is the breaking point where you can tell him that what he saysis negative most of the time and that you will no longer encouragethat type of conversation. You see, Sara, the minute he realizeswhat you’re doing, he will be more receptive to listen to you andseek your help or input. Stay positive Sara, no matter what.

All for the best,

Smiles ?

Orly